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is confusion not, the singular,
most painful thing in life?
why, if there truly were a God,
would he inflict so much strife?

being the almighty, why
answers, could he not supply
for with answers to all life’s questions
would life be not simpler?

would not it be easier,
to worship him amd not detour
if he, only, would be knownst to us
just why things truly were?

why would God create man,
leave evidence of evolution?
then, leave but a bible
and leave us to find a solution?

lesbians and gays and bi’s
transexuals and transvestites
why do so many suffer from
identity crisis?

sexual deformations,
what of mental retardation?
and, of course, what of the hermaphrodites,
a sex, is it, they miss?

is confusion not, the singular,
most painful thing to ponder?
why, if there truly were a God,
would he leave us here to wonder?

the signs were there
i should’ve taken heed
the cloudy skies, the rainy days
yet i could not see clearly through the winter haze
so, was i lost in the storm without a second to breathe

she swept through not fast
but slow, to tease the pain
destroying, employing destructive force
she so skillfully mastered through years of her course
i could not for the life of me, stand the rain

when she did leave
my world she left frayed
my dreams in shambles, my heart but debris
i just want my life the way it used to be
before she came in and swept it away.

why do they gaze at me so strange?
is it that they think that i am deranged?
does my baggy attire signify i’m a thief?
do i cry out ignorance with the manner i speak?
if i had love for myself would i dress as they do?
if i were intelligent would i speak their speech too?

prejudice, judgementalism
generalization, miseducation

no one seems to understand
not one is equipped to comprehend

i feel so alone in a crowded room
outcast, alas, i see my doom

they see me, a freak, a nerd, a geek
not one of them know me, nor do they seek

i’m honest and true, friendly and kind
if people would take the time to find

there are those who love me, yet they do not see
i fight for acceptance in society

for, without acceptance, i cannot integrate
thus, never accomplish the goals i’d create

and so, the only thought that keeps me here
is the pain i’d bring to the few who do care

Sometimes, childhood fantasies,
turn out to be impossibilities.
Fairy tales make love perfect.
But life makes love a task to be kept.
Sometimes you make that big mistake
of developing feelings that your body can’t take
for that special person, you think could be true
but that person is not, and the fault is on you.
Sometimes you put out a flame, sometimes break a vow,
But that sometime, _______ is definitely not now.

when i first met you, there was something in your eyes.
i had to get closer. then i realized.
it was an eyelash. so, i removed it.
all the while, you just stood and smiled.
and it was that smile that, then, caught my eye.
intoxicated, i felt a natural high.
that’s when i realized that it was still there.
that something in your eyes that first caught my stare.
i could have stared so long, it would have drove me blind.
it was as if i could see what was on your mind.
and i knew i had to have those eyes, that smile,
and the rest of you to drive me wild.
so i pursued, and you were pursued.
and to this day, those eyes still amuse.
and it still catches me by surprise.
but, it’s no longer just something,
it’s that look in your eyes

Leave me so that I can begin that initial step
toward admitting that I have a problem
and working out my addiction to loving you.

Leave me so that I can keep searching for that special
person who will love me for who I am
and not who they want me to be.

Leave me so that you can keep searching for that special
person who will love you more than I ever could
and maybe one day you’ll realize that person is not you.

so many tried, so many lied
yet they gained entrance through her doors.
so many tried, none denied
and for this they tagged her whore.

so many wicked men from all walks of life
good men with bad intentions
evil men with good intentions
none with intent on being her friend
some with intent on being her foe.

wicked men, and signs of disrespect they wore.
so many tried, so many. she cried
then a decent man knocked at her doors
and she denied.

she left me, and if she’d left this world
my life would be the same
for with her, she took the memories
yet traces still remain

searching my mind, i try to find
the memories that we once shared
for those traces dwell, and though i search well
my mind says they’re not there

she took with her the good and bad,
the friendship, times that made her sad,
and everything she hid so that
no one could tell she had.

so now when i see her,
i’m reminded of someone i once knew
her beauty alike, her voice, the same
yet i cannot recall who.

what an interesting game

it is that they play

to dress themselves in costume

every new day

some dress to compete

some dress to impress

some dress to support

their body’s plentiness

their costumes seem varied

some light, some tight

what’s so odd to me though

they’re all still so alike

what’s yet much more odd

evading my comprehension

so many seem disgusted

by my costume inventions

they seem to fear to dare

to express themselves and wear

an outfit that’s so odd

that all others would stare

now this question i must ask

for the answer i do miss

why is it to so many

conformity is bliss